Hello Psych Central.

A little history about me. I was diagnosed in 2010 with one pdoc stating I was Bipolar and the other opining that Borderline Personality Disorder was a more appropriate diagnosis. I feel I have aspects of each.

My early history involved a number of very traumatic separations and placement in foster care and subsequent adoption. I have just completed 4 (yes 4) years of psychodynamic psychotherapy which I feel has been helpful. I have previously taken meds but am now trying an alternative approach to achieve more stability.

After reading my report the pdoc has written how I am trying to achieve a "blissful fusional" state which he rightly opines is an attempt at a reunion early state with my natural mother. This is then followed by depression when it is not achieved and has also meant I have engaged in quite extensive religious practice to attempt to reach this state.

Does this seem familiar to many of you or do you not interpret it in this way?

If you google "blissful fusional and manic depression" there is quite a bit of info on this theme.

Thanks for listening.

FZ