i grew up in an environment where my family didnt talk about emotions or anything. even after my dad died...it was taboo to talk about him and what happened. i was taught to hide my emotions and deal with them when i was alone. i would cry in the shower or after everyone went to bed. i was basically emotionally neglected all my childhood. my dad died right after my 10th birthday and i didnt know all the details about what happened to him until i was 16 and my mom wrote me a letter about it.

it took me a really really long time to be able to talk about how i was feeling. it just felt so wrong to me. it has gotten a LOT easier though through much work in therapy.

so anyway yeah, i hid my mental illness because i thought thats what i was supposed to do. even though there were clear indicators that something was not right with me in my early teenage years no one said anything about it and if they did it was hurtful. they didnt understand. it was only after i ran away when i was 16 that my mom took me to be psychiatrically evaluated.

im not really sure how many people in my family know about what happened with my former therapist. i know my mom and sister know. i suspect my grandmother knows. they might all know. the thing with my family is they talk about things involving someone to each other and not to the person it happened to.