hi ttravis
I am sorry that you have had to lose so much. it took my world crashing down for me to see the reality of having to get on meds and therapy to get better as well. you have to do it for yourself though. you cant get better for her. it will never work. basing your recovery on someone else nevre works. you have to want to be better for yourself. you have to want to never do those things again because you are disappointed in you, because you want to be a better person. welcome to psych central. you will find we have several forums where you can post about your concerns and receive feedback from other members. you will get a lot of support here. again, welcome