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Old Sep 28, 2014, 09:47 PM
Soccer mom Soccer mom is offline
Poohbah
 
Member Since: Jun 2014
Location: United States
Posts: 1,478
Quote:
Originally Posted by SnakeCharmer View Post
It does sound like transference is interfering with your perspective and your T is doing what she can to deal with it in a healthy way.

She doesn't text with patients. She texted with you during a time of crisis. Losing one's mother is a major crisis in anyone's life and she broke her rules about texting because it was the right thing to do at the time.

She's not punishing you by going back to the original rules. She's setting a healthy boundary. And, naturally, you don't like it! I mean, I wouldn't like it either. You just lost your mom and now it feels as if your T is pulling away. But she's not.

I don't know what you're feeling. But I know if I was in an identical situation, my abandonment issues would be triggered all over the place. First, by the loss of my mom and then by my T setting a boundary on me. That can feel like a rejection, but it's not. It's a good boundary, IMO.

Talk to her about whatever it is that you're feeling and, as others said, don't do anything rash out of hurt feelings over text messages and transference. It just takes some time for any of us to adjust whenever rules change or boundaries are set. It takes time to process and accept and it isn't always easy. Well, at least not for me. I don't think it's easy for most people.

I wish you the best.
I didn't think about it as she broke her rules for me. Good way to think of it although she did tell me she has a few client she texts with and I was one of them. Yes, I have felt rejected and overall hurt. I've felt I shouldn't have told her that not responding to that 1 text bothered me - it changed everything. And, I hate that I regret telling her something considering I should be comfortable telling her anything.
I did think about quitting last week and sent a text saying I needed encouragement to keep going. She did a little but then reminded me she wouldn't discuss these things via text and did I need to come in.
Hugs from:
SnakeCharmer