Maybe I read too much into her text. I think I just felt lots of guilt or shame or whatever on my own for going there. I haven't had any urges like that since November 2013. I guess I just hoped it would stay that way...No urges that is. Anyway, still using a muscle relaxer or two to fall asleep at night but now it's because my muscle are truly super tight from the stress of the topic of grief and loss.