I have a good life, perfect. I have a fiancé, a two month old daughter. I live in an apartment building with my parents downstairs, my sister diagonal, and my grandpa across from me. My fiancé has a good job, he loves me and so does my family. But something makes me feel out of place.

I feel like I am not myself anymore, a stranger. sometimes I eat to just have something to do, the food has no taste: but I keep eating. Sometimes I don't put on a bra and makeup or clean the house for weeks. I feel like I should be wrapped like a mummy and put into a dark hole to satiate me. My hobbies have disappeared. When I talk I feel the guilt that someone has to listen to my voice.

I fool myself into thinking I am happy. Or am I? My smiles mean something but then when I am alone my unhappy thoughts crowd my brain. I have support but it never feels like enough. I keep taking but its never enough to make me happy. *sigh* what am I even doing. . .