Quote:
Originally Posted by Lady Lindsey
Ok, so my T has told me several times that I have Maladaptive thinking.. so we had quite a discussion about this... She kind of backed off of it and apologized for using that term... but it IS how T's look at some way I and others who Dissociate or suffered extreme trauma at a young age or over years... they think our thinking is "maladaptive".... Well, what makes them think their thinking isn't maladaptive??
Maladaptive He!! I think that it was one of the best coping skills a young child could come up with to escape the inescapable.! If I call that anything I would call that very Adaptive! Besides, so many who suffered the unthinkable at a young age adapted the exact same way... hmmmm that sounds like a normal adaptive skill to me!
Just because I have an ability to really Compartmentalize.... and deal with things differently does NOT make me Maladaptive..... Since when is there anything such as NORMAL anyway???? Norms are based on Society... I bet many "normal" people in the USA may be considered Abnormal by another culture or society!
I am tired of words like abnormal and Maladaptive.... I am not ashamed that I think different or I dissociate, or that I have a desk locked in a secret room where, when I am able, I will open the drawer, pull out something and deal with it... but close the drawer again until I am ready to deal with it again... (OK, so it's an imaginary desk in my head.. I have a great imagination  Not maladaptive!)
I really am tired of all the labels... If anything I think that I had some amazing coping skills as a child! Sometimes I wonder why I should get rid of something that worked so well for me for so many years or be told it is Maladaptive???
I know.. it worked when I was a child, but now as an adult... yada yada, yada.... As long as I function and I cope and for the most part I do quite well!
I hold a steady job, raised a wonderful son and 4 other children. I have a hidden nightmare that I deal with in my head daily... but I adapted, I coped and I came out ok.... So why the word Maladaptive?? I mean really wouldn't you think it would be a creative and wonderful coping skill to escape the inescapable...
Ok, my rant is over... thanks for "listening"  |
I'm so sorry that your t is saying things like this to you. My therapist has been really good at stressing how ADAPTIVE my ability to dissociate is. She let's me know that when I was young it was the best most efficient thing to do to escape what I was unable to physically escape from. She recognizes it as a very valuable trait for the time, but encourages me to try new ways to cope as this is not always the best skill to utilize now that I'm not in danger and being hurt. She made sure that I knew that my dissociation evolved for a reason, and it was incredibly helpful in allowing me to survive the trauma. She reassured me over and over that this was how she viewed it and how I should view it too. Hopefully your t can truly come to this out a similar understanding of what you're working with to increase the comfort on both your parts.