Dear. You are far too young to be a failure. You've had some crummy breaks and have reacted just about the way one would expect since it sounds like you didn't get enough professional help. Now is the time. Please enlist your mom or dad in helping you with your fears and anxiety and make an appointment with a counselor or therapist. I see a very nice young woman who is not the least bit threatening and yet she is very helpful; there are all kinds of people who are therapists and counselors. I am sure you can find one you can be comfortable with.

Look into online classes and various programs of study. You could also look into Coursera.org; it is free. If you want to get your feet wet doing college level work, try a free class in a subject that interests you. You don't have to get a 4-year degree if you don't want to; you could get an associate of arts degree in 2 years. A friend of mine started out with a 2 year degree, now she is in a Master's degree program!

Enlist the tools and help available to you and start creating a happy future for yourself. You can come here any time for support, to gripe, to tell us of the successes you've made, and just to chill Courage!