I wonder if you could not combine your two interests someway into one paper? Relate the discipline of competitive swimming to your interest in neuroscience and how much you look forward to studying it? I can totally see why swimming could lead to an interest in neuroscience. I agree with your counselors that you should leave out the 'TMI' part. For the purposes of a entrance essay, I think it is best left out. I believe you will do fine.
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