I hurt for you. I'm going through something similar. I wish I had a solution to help us feel better and take control of our emotions. In my case there's a feeling of guilt in that I think I accidentally hurt him as well but am unable to reach him to apologize. Unfortunately we don't have any control over anything in this world except how we deal with things. To be content with ourselves and what life throws at us is the only way it seems that I can survive these situations where I don't have the control. I'm struggling. I'm hurting. My emotions are out of control. All I can do is take deep breaths. Sigh.