My feelings of being a horrible person slowly began to fade when I told some people (therapists) what I had done that made me bad, and they did not react to it in the way I expected.

Not living up to our standards is pretty common among humans -- we are not necessarily forever condemned for it. We are all capable of making bad mistakes, if the stress is great enough. It does not mean we will always make bad mistakes. Learning just to do better is possible.