Quote:
Originally Posted by junkDNA
i grew up in an environment where my family didnt talk about emotions or anything. even after my dad died...it was taboo to talk about him and what happened. i was taught to hide my emotions and deal with them when i was alone. i would cry in the shower or after everyone went to bed. i was basically emotionally neglected all my childhood. my dad died right after my 10th birthday and i didnt know all the details about what happened to him until i was 16 and my mom wrote me a letter about it.
it took me a really really long time to be able to talk about how i was feeling. it just felt so wrong to me. it has gotten a LOT easier though through much work in therapy.
|
I can relate to this somewhat. My family isn't one for saying things like
"I love you" or talking about our feelings. My Mum just takes a business-like approach to things like anxiety & my illness, just trying to understand them herself rather than about how it affects me & how I feel.
My Dad just doesn't understand it at all & doesn't ask about it at all. It wouldn't be a problem but it's just like he denies it really. I think it's just a coping mechanism for him.
As for my Sister... I barely talk to her. We used to be quite close but then she moved away & everything became about her. She never talks to me unless she wants something. Also, now she has her own family & I think the time has passed to get back to the way things were before now I am ill. She just doesn't know what to say to me ever. I'm not sure if that's because we never talk, or because of my illness but I suspect a bit of both.
I was really open with the one serious girlfriend I had though... I think in some ways I see the misgivings of our family way & don't want the same for myself in the future. I still find it hard to express emotions though, certainly not helped by the cognitive effects I have at the moment.
Our family is caucasian middle class if that gives any bearing to the thread topic. I think it's more to do with having two working parents, one of whom was away quite a bit whilst I was younger that had more of an impact on that side of things.