I have watched TV everyday of my life and when I was younger I started to get attached to specific tv shows. I would imagine that I was apart of those tv shows and I had a relationship with many of the characters. I would daydream about them in school and I thought they really cared about me. I would picture them being there with me when I needed someone most.
When I daydreamed about this I wouldn't be me I would have a whole other personality and look but yet it still felt like me. I could never be myself it just didn't feel right. Trust me I tried. I had absolutely no interest in the actors or actresses just their fictional characters.
Now I'm older and it's dawned in me that these characters and these fantasies will never ever exist anywhere but my head. They are not real and they never will be. I cry every time I realize this, sometimes I have to excuse myself from class or other places because I feel I'm going to burst into tears. These seem to be the only people who care about me and understand me. My life is nothing without these characters.
Scars run up my thighs from where I cut myself. The longer this lasts the deeper and more severe my cuts have been. Nobody knows. I just feel so alone please help me. These are the only people who love me and I think I only love them. I don't know what to do.