Hello, Vhern1, and welcome to Psych Central! Your marriage is not the only one that suffers on the altar of parenthood. I assume neither you or your wife wants to start dating again and getting re-acquainted.

I am concerned about your children, although I know that staying married for their sake is not always a good idea. I think there does have to be a formal separation process, but I am not sure.

Please keep your relationship with your children a healthy and caring one. The worst thing divorced parents can do is to badmouth the other parent and/or put the kids in the middle of things.

I wish you well.