Hello everyone, this is my first post in any kind of mental health forum. I've read these forums quite a lot when seeking information etc. but never actually decided to participate. Well here I am, because I'm kinda fed up and would like to get some opinions from people who could maybe relate.

My main issue is, since like first month into starting Lamictal (first med I've ever been on, after anti-depressants made me feel very weird to put it shortly), I've started to feel very different. I don't really know if it's just me changing or if it's the drug.. The difference is that I think I've lost my impulsivity and spontaneousity and all those LETS GO HELL YES feelings I had for what seems my whole life. It's hard to describe really, all in all I think I've lost my 'hypomania' and it's making me down, because as far as I've read, noone seems to have that problem, infact some people have hypomania without depression, on Lamictal.

I have lost the intensity and duration of my depression also, which is really great. I still feel though as if I've lost my character, or like it's fading every day. I feel like I was more human before, with those intense feelings, I could pour my heart out into writings and paintings and whatnot, whereas now when I do that stuff I don't feel that person with what I put out. I also seem to miss times when I could a really funny person, my mind would pick up random things and the funsies came out like a machinegun; something trivial it might sound, but I miss it..

I could say the medication is working as intended, my life overall has really improved because it's also taken away my anxiety issues and my head feels a lot more clear (except sometimes when I just get dizzy and spaced out for days for an unknown reason) and I really feel more of an adult (I'm 20 years old btw.) compared to the past.

Anyways, if anyone has cared to read through this seemingly pointless rant, I am grateful. Yeah. Having one of those dizzy days...