Hello riddle me this, welcome to Psych Central.

You are feeling bad because you lied to your friends about your grades for 2 years? It's not actually a huge deal. Everyone makes mistakes, you are a human being. Own up to your friends and explain why and they will understand. Then go and see a career counselor or do an online career matching service and see what it says will suit you with your current qualifications and take it from there.

It concerns me greatly that you now feel suicidal over this, you have a future! Please seek help through your doctor, it sounds like you need immediate support for your mental health state.