My mother and I have this routine "heated debate" (its not quite argument level but yeah) about my life. I'm 26, and like most people my age (I assume) I have no clue about the meaning of life. I have a bachelors degree; work at an hourly job doing not degree work but still in the medical field that my degree is in and have been applying (this is the 2nd year) to a professional degree program that I'm guessing I won't get accepted in this go round either. (Just keeping it real.)

Anyways, I live home with my mom and we're talking and she's always fussing about "I don't know why you don't just skip all that and go on and become a doctor". Realistically, I don't have the grades to be a doctor - but also, I don't want to be a doctor. I don't want the responsibility. I don't want to do the work it takes to become one. And I just simply don't want to be one. She's like "you grew up saying you want to be a doctor and now it's like your scared". And i'm like 1) I grew up wanting to be a lawyer #Truestory and 2) that was before I knew there was more that I could be in life than a lawyer and doctor. When I knew there was options, I actually wanted to be a social worker but that was discouraged and now I have a degree in biology and my main goal in life is to make good use of it.

She's like "all your friends are going to be done with their school and careers starting families and you'll be just getting started." And I ask her why she feels the need to compare me or herself to other people. She says thats life, and to a degree I get that but I'd rather not be a conformist. My friends are all in completely different fields (medical, law, psychology, computers, and two are in education - I only have a few friends lol).

All of them are single, not dating and have no kids. She says that I need hurry up and start a family because i'm not getting any younger and they will already have that. 1) I plan to adopt anyways, but also, I still have like at least 10 years to safely reproduce and I only want to birth 2 (adopt 2/3 more). I told her she doesn't even like her kids - why is she in a rush for me to have kids that i'm not going to like? (Fair question as i've already pushed all the parents in my family to go ahead and just admit that having kids after the age of 5 is NOT as fun as people try to convince people it is. Maybe I should have been a lawyer after all.)

And I know that she cares, so I don't take it offensively but I do get annoyed that I can't convince her that my life is really not her problem. Like not being rude, but I ask her for very few things. I live with her, but i'm working on moving out for sure (not bc I have to but because I'm going to be 27 soon - gotta get out the nest eventually) and the only bills I have asked help for was a student loan she cosigned (but I pay 3 other ones on my own and it would go in default if I didn't) and my car (that she offered to pay for; i never even asked for the car bc I was using my dads old one but it wasn't safe and she wanted me in a safer one). I don't ask for money for food/gas. If I go visit friends I don't ask for money to hang out; if I want to do something and can not afford it - I just don't do it. Career wise, it's a struggle. I want to do more but I didn't apply myself like I should have in undergrad and a 3.0 just doesn't get you very far. So now I am having to work towards it and i'm okay with that but she's making it seem like the struggle isn't worth it, and well i'd hate for her to be right.

I do have confidence that I can create a good life but I don't feel the need to "have it done by 30" you know? I don't know - am I really this lost cause she pretty much thinks I am? I think that I'm okay with the nagging because she believes i'm capable but one day, either she'll change or i'll prove that i'm not - and thats when it will hurt.