I'm sorry I feel like a blubbering idiot. I'm trying to keep hope. I'm not gnna stop trying to get better, cause that what I want. But I feel like I can't move on without her. If she just knew all of everything that bi polar and depression caused and took control of maybe she would see the hope for my change. I think she might know about bi polar but doesn't truly understand it. That's all I want is the chance to explain to her that now that I know what has been going on, I can and WILL change it. I'm trying to hit this with a one, two punch, meds and my mentality that I WANT to change it. I just wish she could know