Hi brokenentity,

Other than the obvious thoughts about "people who just love seeing others fall" you know I tend to "feel sorry" for people like that, if you know what I mean.
To get pleasure out of something like that..........!! To not actually get to see, understand and really care............to exclude people because of/despite.........and just because someone's struggling doesn't mean that they aren't still someone amazing, yet to miss out on all of that................to be lacking recognition of someones worth/value...........
Anyway I could go on, but maybe you could turn your view just a little around on how you're seeing them??? Just a little??? Afterall, however you're feeling, I'd say that there's a lot more wrong with them than with you

Really hope things go OK/not so bad with your mum, but regardless maybe just try to get something/anything from being away, hey??
And don't forget we're here too if you're struggling at any time

And self care...........you're probably thinking "I should be doing this......I should that.........I should be doing the other............"???? But honestly just start really small, that's absolutely fine..........and however long it takes to...........it doesn't matter. Just try to do the odd small thing for yourself/to make you feel just a little better, it all counts. Not so tough on yourself, OK????!!!!!
And not so much about your appearance to others being the main purpose of self care (because you know there's a whole lot more to you than the way you look!! ) maybe make it a little more about what makes you/yourself feel better???

And anyway..........."It just amazes and saddens me as to how the times have changed for me"
..........you might have looked different then but since then you'll have grown, you'll have matured (in a good way!!! ), you'll have new/more insight, you'll have had experiences you'll have learned from (good and bad), you'll have met more people and learned from them, you'll have learned more about yourself (including things you do/don't like)..............
So yes, times have changed, but they will have changed in positive ways as well.

And hey, times have changed, you've found us!!!
We like you for who you are!! That's got to be a positive, right??



Alison