I came home from work and was exhausted, so I decided to treat myself to a bit of a nap. After about an hour, my oldest daughter ran upstairs to wake me because there were problems next door at my other daughter's apartment.

I jumped up and got dressed and went next door to find my youngest daughters boyfriend extremely wasted and the apartment in shambles!

There is a long history (3 years) of his issues. He just moved back in a week ago after being released from the local hospital's psych ward. He is an alcoholic/pill addict. He's stolen money, and lied like there is no tomorrow. I have tried to help my daughter be strong and stay away from this guy, but she keeps taking him back. When he is sober, he's a great guy and treats her like a queen.

Since my daughters' father is an alcoholic, I always hoped that they could learn from my mistakes. I've tried to teach them what to look for, and how to deal with it. It's breaking my heart to see my daughters involved with this situation. Not only are they involved, but my oldest daughter's son saw his "uncle" in handcuffs and being walked to the cruiser. This is NOT good for an 8 year old to see yet again. He has PTSD from seeing other's that he has loved in the same situations and hauled away.

Why or why can't my children understand that their choices not only affect them but others in their lives??? I sit here crying for the pain that my kids are going through. I blame myself for them being in this situation by having to live through it when they were young.

What is a mother to do in order to help them get past this kind of thing??? How do I stop the vicious circle that keeps turning and turning???

I'm fully aware of how a substance abuser mentally and emotionally creates a stronghold on the "one's they love". I know what the control is all about. I've explained to them time after time. We've had many heart to heart talks about what the warning signs are, and how to get out of the situtation.

I feel like such a failure. I've tried so hard to help my family and all I continue to see is the hurt and anguish that I try so hard to help them not get into. I try to teach them by example. I got out of my horrid marriage to an addict and I am not do not abuse alcohol (very rarely do I have a drink) and I certainly do not take pills or meds unless they are prescribed.

The hardest part is my grandson and his mental health. He has his own issues to deal with and now he sees one more man in his life that is hauled off in handcuffs and off to jail (his dad is an addict too and has no contact with him). This is breaking my heart into a million little pieces. He's only 8 years old and has seen way more in his short years than anyone should ever have to see in a lifetime.

I'm sorry if this post is all over the place. My emotions are all over the place right now and I'm not thinking clearly.

It's going to be a long night *sigh*