Well, the trip to the toy store never happened (LONG story). But I AM poised to get a toy from the safe anonymity of the internet .
I'm feeling committed but also quite nervous. Confident as I am that I'm ready to try this again. This is just something I feel like I've done SO many times before and each instance has ended in disaster. But this is something I feel like I owe it to myself to try and do.
It's odd saying such quasi-profound things when talking about a sex toy XD.

Anyway just thought I'd update! It's more important to me than I can say that I can even just blurb about what my thought process is on here.