I do enjoy my solitude. It seems like later in my years, I can only hold down one or two friends. I had periods when I had a few people going on in my life, but it got overwhelming. I envy those who never need to be alone, too. But on the other hand, if you were like that, being alone can be very difficult. I especially envy those who don't have depression, anxiety, and dreadful thoughts like I do.

I think that the hardest part of being alone is when things go wrong. When I was younger, hardly anything went wrong - with my body, that is. And now I have a health concern (though I don't think about it that much). But what's really hard is that little things come up that seem to be a threat. Such as my body feeling weird, strange marks on my skin, etc.

I had one other friend but we split up. I was the one to let him go. I felt bad about it and I miss him. He was not there that much for me and I felt like he was not a good friend. He talked down on me a lot; and I think he started to like me a whole lot when I wanted to sell my place. He wanted to get in and sell the place for me to make money. I didn't think he was competent enough. He got mad at me when he found out that I used a real estate person to inquire. As of now, I have decided not to sell my place.