Remember there's no obligation to keep sex toys or a limit as to how many you can throw away - it's a process of discovery that can neither be rushed nor compared to anyone else's. You don't have to go for penetrative toys either - you can work your way up from electro-stim toys and rings etc. Try and keep light hearted about the whole thing, sexual experimentation is meant to be fun and regardless of whatever difficulties you might be having, sex toys are sex toys - nothing more, nothing less. Be mindful of your feelings but also how easy it is to overstate the significance of these situations. As always, i wish you well.