We were best friends for about 10 years and I saw him almost every Friday to eat dinner and have drinks afterwards. I haven't seen him much the past 15 years. I had the feeling at times that he might have been bisexual and interested in a romantic relationship, but he knew I was heterosexual and didn't want to damage our friendship. We always had a lot of fun together and I used to think we would be a good married couple if we were opposite sex.

I've seen this friend a few times over the past 15 years. Several years ago we were drinking and he seemed to be suggesting a romantic relationship, but then he seemed to pass out on the floor. I was a little bit stunned and I wondered if he was pretending to pass out so he could disavow the suggestion. A year or so later he was trying to show me how to use internet chat and he started making sexually suggestion remarks through chat while we were talking normally on the phone. It bothered me afterwards so I sent him an email telling him it was o.k. if he was gay but that I was not gay. He claimed he was just drunk and didn't remember doing anything that would have given me that idea.

So (sorry this is so long), in 2008 we both flew to meet for a weekend. I wanted to see my friend, but I was worried about the gay issue and I was also worried because he wanted to go to strip clubs and he gets creepy in strip clubs and it makes me uncomfortable. The first night we had a few drinks and walked to a club. I was at the bar and he went to the restroom but never came back. I caught a glimpse of him walking across the room with a spaced-out, peaceful smile but then he disappeared into the crowd. I couldn't find him so eventually I went back to the hotel. The next day he couldn't remember even going to the club and he seemed genuinely confused.

Little weird things happened all weekend. Even on the bus from the airport to the hotel another guy kept acting crazy and might attack me. I heard a human or animal sound in my head the next day that startled me. I suppose I was starting to have psychosis.

The last evening of that weekend, we were drinking in his hotel room. He started acting weird and then he offered me a bottle that I had been drinking earlier. I started getting very drunk and sleepy. So we walked back to my room. He made a weird comment about noticing that I had been reading the hotel's bible and he took it out of the room. He has always been unpredictable, so I just laughed and went to bed.

The next day after we arrived home and I was getting out of the airplane (many more weird things that I left out). Long story short I suddenly became delusional and thought I had angered some voodoo satanists that were turning my friend into a zombie and so forth.

Later the delusion changed where I decided my friend had drugged me and performed satanic rituals on me while I was hypnotized. Then eventually I started wondering if he date-raped me.

Probably nothing happened except that I was stressed and had a breakdown. Maybe I am even gay and have suppressed those feelings. I have no idea.

I hate talking about this stuff, because it makes me sound so silly.