Earlier I posted about seeing something upsetting on Facebook. I thought that things were going well with my relationship with my son and daughter in law. Now I really wonder! It would be like if something bad happened to me or my other son and then I posted about it on facebook without telling anyone. FB seems to be a source of trouble for me. Occasionally this happens. If I stay off, then I won't get photos of family events and I like to read news stories there. It is a double edged sword for me.

Today when I saw the post (which I wrote about here earlier), I really lost it. I have shed quite a few tears. It seems like I am such a mess and just seem to do better alone. However, I am terribly lonely. I guess it is my expectations of people, but I do expect people to treat me as they would like to be treated and with respect. Is that asking too much?

Also a long lost cousin contacted me and now calls me fairly often. All she does is talk about how awful life is and goes from one really depressing story to another. Never has anything positive to say. I feel for her predicament but she is really taxing my ability to handle my own depression. There is no nice way of that I know of to not talk to her. Which would mean another relationship ending also.

I have heard before that the common denominator is me, years ago when I was in therapy. I have really tried and tried to be a friend and helper to people but don't seem to be making any friends, ever.
There has to be a friend out there for me somewhere it seems!