Ok I am mad...and I do not get mad very often. I finally got this job that I wanted and it is going alright..and I decided to keep my job at the mall for a little while for some spare cash. This leads to me working Mondays: 9-3 at one job and 6-10 at the other, Tuesday and Wednesday 2-8 (My DCF program with the kids are those days), Thursday 9-3 again and 6-10, and Friday 6-10. That does not include any extra weekend days either job might need me or the fact that I am on call sometimes to go work at the shelter.
So I casually mentioned to my mother that I might quit my mall job because I think it might be too much for me. She "informed" me that she works two jobs and if she can do it then I can do it and I will not quit that job because I need the money.
Granted she does work two jobs...because it was the only way for them to help me pay for school (which I never asked them to do and did not want). The reason she had to work two jobs is because her and my step dad stole my sister and I social security checks for 8 years after my father died (almost 350 dollars a month a piece). I never saw a dime of that money and it was never put in an account for me. When she was confronted she said "Yeah I used it..it is expensive to have kids and a house" Yeah no crap it!
Im sorry I am rambling and this has to be the longest post I have ever written here, but I feel like a worthless piece of crap. Nothing I do is ever good enough for that woman. My grades could have always been better..she is upset because I am never around...I should work more hours. I understand that she works two jobs...BUT I AM NOT HER! With my depression getting out of bed is a big enough feat sometimes...forget working 10 hours a day.
I am now rambling if anyone is still reading this ...thanks...

Jessica

<font color=blue>The worst is over now and we can breathe again
I wanna hold you high, you steal my pain away
There’s so much left to learn, and no one left to fight
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain</font color=blue>
~Seether and Amy Lee