Please take care of your emotional well-being and give your daughter-in-law a telephone call or better yet, tell her--preferably in the presence of your son--in person that you would like to be notified personally when/if your grandchildren have accidents or become ill.

The car-borrowing was a lousy thing to do to you.

I understand your feelings. You can calmly express them to your son and daughter-in-law. I see no need to bring in your other children, but if that is your family dynamic, so be it.

You're not bad or undeserving. You're a grandmother who loves her grandchild and her family. That's good!