This is the part that resonates with me. That seems like a potentially powerful dynamic in relationships (and not about sex). Being uncomfortable with a person who engages us in some way we are not comfortable with and "pretending" we are not noticing (sometimes we are more pretending to ourselves more than others).

I think sometimes as we become healthier, certain patterns of interactions that didn't use to bug us start to bug us, they feel like a rub, uncomfortable. But first we have to notice that some shift has occurred that is making us uncomfortable and not pretend that nothing is going on.