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I'm glad that you are doing well on your own. It is sad that so many men don't want to be part of their children's lives.
You might want to think about if the name change is worth the court fight, that would be necessary without his consent. And unfortunately his paying/visiting/caring for his child doesn't count in this sort of thing.
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“If we could change ourselves, the tendencies in the world would also change. As a man changes his own nature, so does the attitude of the world change towards him. ... We need not wait to see what others do.” Gandhi
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