I don't want to heal any more if this is what healing is all about - that is how all of this started, and look what my good intentions got me. I've had a hellish day for reasons I just don't want to get in to, and I think it's time for fate to just sweep me away. My destiny is the gutter, I said it two years ago. I must deserve it, because life always smacks me down.

It is just too hard to fight any more.