Sorry to hear you are having a tough time. I can relate due to being in a certain field of work. I always put a face on so no one knows what I am feeling. I a, lucky that I have found a few close friends that I can trust and know I am bipolar. A few are bipolar as well. Never realized till my pdoc told me once that ppl with bipolar seem to attract others. Thought he was full of it. Since that time, I have found quite a few and it is strange that they are the ppl I get along with the most. I cannot give advice on relationships because I have not been to good with them. I seem to pick ppl sicker then I am and does not seem to last. I have been blessed that my relationships last a while though and I have to be willing to accept that. No choice. Being honest, aware, and good communication is the only thing I can share at this time. I can tell you I go through long phases of not trusting anyone. Most of the time I have trust concerns, but try and accept them for what they are and not put to much power behind the feeling. Not sure this helps you, but I hope you feel better. If not, try some DBT. It works for me.