oh also, buying her dresses 'if she's good' might be a trigger for her... a little girl who has been through all that she's been through might not believe she's capable of 'being good'... she might only believe that she is bad and undeserving... what evidence has she seen from her parents to the contrary?

I tend to think it's best not to use conditional tools... if you behave like this, you can have this - it's putting a condition on her emotions. x x