I understand. Today I felt kicked in the teeth for no reason. It is so frustrating when you try to do your best and you still get bad things dumped at you. You do not deserve to suffer. People say it is the depression telling you that you deserve pain. I believe you deserve to have a good life. I am thinking of you and hoping that something turns around for you. Have you seen a psychiatrist or therapist? That would be something helpful if that kind of service is available where you live. Best of wishes.