The first thing you need to do is be very honest with all those involved in your psych care about where you are at. If going back to work seems overwhelming, tell them that.

As long as you are receiving some job based income, I think you would have a hard time getting SSDI. They (SSA) look for a history of job failure.

You are having a good paper trail of serious psych difficulty. I would endorse the suggestion that you find a law firm to advise you. The ones that advertise on TV as being specialists in disability are a good place to start. It doesn't cost anything to call them, and they can give you very valuable feedback.