My last T transferred. She worked for the county, and another company bought all of the north county's mental health facilities. My T had the option of working for the new company or transferring to south county. I saw her for 4 years and we had just started a trial period of termination. When she found out, she told me right away and allowed me to go back to weekly sessions until her last day.

The loss of her hurt so much. My life slowly began to fall apart after she left. That is the beginning of how I wound up locking myself in the house for 6 years.

I do have minimal contact with her now. I'm allowed to email once a year (she usually responds a month or two later). But emotionally, she's not the same person she was. I still grieve the loss of her and it's been 9 years.

There's nothing to be embarrassed or ashamed about. Your Pdoc was important to you and has left a lasting positive impression on you. I don't know if the grief ever fully goes away. But it does get easier.