I've taken a lot under my belt this summer with 3/4 time college, a 3/4 time job, and of course my two babies in daycare three days a week and my husband going on night shift. The toll is beginning to break me before it even ends. The semester is ending, I have one class remaining and I'm off for the summer, but it seems %#@&#! comes in clumps or something. My husband not sleeping is turning him into a monster, the worse I've ever seen him (and I've seen pretty bad), and both my cars are breaking down. I broke down on the highway tonight and felt the urge to spill over emotionally, but of course I numbed that out.

I took the job to feel more independent and to prove to people I am capable of living on my own if need be. So far it's okay, besides the pay. I began working at Kroger almost a month ago. The people seem pretty nice, but I know they all gossip about me. So far my husband has made me cry there in front of everybody. The first time he claimed he was not going to pick me up (car broke down at Kroger intersection) and the second time he threatened to drop the babies off in the parking lot. So now they all are weird around me, like I'm fragile and on the verge of breaking (maybe I am).

It just seems like everything is taking it's daily crap on me. I'm exhausted emotionally....to the point of numbness. I feel like nothing will get better....I guess this is that sweet stuff called depression!