I feel for you gal .my dad was like that too two years ago when he was diagnosed w stage IV lung cancer. His cancer was in remission for a year and a half before it came back full blown . His chemo was not working the second time around and when I.started working ,he went into hospice and he died three days in hospice . I know the feeling . I was devastated too when my mom died four years ago. My dad drank heavily after my mom past away . Both of my parents were my rock . Now that they are both gone ,I have my choir director to talk to when it's hard on me .