I feel for you roxygirl . My mom died four years ago and my sister and I went out to eat on her birthday and visited her grave .my dad's birthday is coming up too . I do miss my parents but I always,try not to think about their passing.I think about how happy they are watching over the family from up above.try to keep your mother's memory alive in your heart by doing something that your mother loved to do.when she was alive . My mom when she was alive at church I see her spirit in the second pew by the choir loft she would sit there every Sunday just to hear the choir sing . She wanted to join team choir but she would throw in the sour note just to verify choir director's attention . My dad well he likes sitting far away from the choir loft . But I will always think about the family vacation that I went w him and my sister's family to North Carolina three years ago for vacation .