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Old Oct 02, 2014, 07:45 AM
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FrozenYogurt FrozenYogurt is offline
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Member Since: Oct 2014
Location: Illinois
Posts: 46
Okay, a little backstory.

This is my second year of junior college and I have essentially nothing to show for it. I completely screwed up my first two semesters, only passing two classes. I was going through a lot of depression/anxiety that prevented me from going to class. Additionally, at that time I held a full time job as a waiter in a sports bar. I would be working from 10am to 12am about 6 days a week. It was hell. On top of all that, I was abusing drugs heavily during this time. Opiates mostly, but my job required me to be alert and awake for 12 hours per day. (Anyone who works in the serving industry knows how that feels ) I became quite the speed freak. I would snort/eat up to 80mg of Adderall a day out of necessity. I felt like I had no other choice. Work was so demanding and unrelenting. I would wake up, go to work all day, go to sleep, and if I had time, go to a couple classes a week and do homework. There's no way I could have handled the stress without Adderall, even though I was abusing it. It took such a toll on my mental health, not to mention my grades, I decided to quit my job.

Anyway, there's a little about me. After that disaster of a semester, I spent the summer working on myself. Right now, I'm in a good place. I'm only taking two classes (Intermediate Algebra and Comparative Religions) this semester, along with two part-time jobs (a pizza delivery boy and a barbacking gig at a bar). This, to me, is perfect. I make enough to cover my bills and still have a little spending money leftover. However, at the rate I'm going now - taking two classes a semester - I won't get my associate's degree until 2016. That's unacceptable to me. Next semester, I'm going to be taking 4 or 5 classes. I can handle a full-time schedule, but there's no way I'm going to be able to work as much as I do now!

So I'm a little conflicted. My options are:
Go to school full-time and quit my job(s), somehow juggle a full-time schedule and two jobs, OR drop out and focus on working full-time. Money is very tight right now (I'm 19, I live with my mom who barely makes enough to put food on the table) so if I stop working, my mom will have to pick up my slack in regards to the bills. Yes, we share bills. I think I actually make more than my mom does.

What should I do? I need to pursue my education. That's my first priority. I'm going for a Bachelors in Computer Networking with specialization in Network Security. I've always loved computers and I'm positive this is the right major for me. Theoretically, I can be Cisco certified by next summer, which will open a lot of job opportunities. But that's only going to happen if I get my crap together. That means either quitting my two jobs, or finding a way to cope with a full-time work and school schedule.

I'll stop rambling (sorry, it's the meds ). Has anyone else been in this situation? How do you handle it?

P.S. Thank you for listening! I'm so glad I found this forum. It's nice to hear advice from people going through similar stuff, as opposed to a cold-hearted psychiatrist. Internet is a lot cheaper than CBT
Hugs from:
anon20141119, Travelinglady