My t gets back from her break in just under a week, and I've learned quite a bit about myself in her absence. One thing I've realised is how alone I am and how I so desperately don't want to be anymore

I've always been a bit of a loner and had difficulty instigating friendships. Despite this, I've managed to attract one or two people into my world. I've never actually had a meaningful intimate relationship with anyone, but I do have in my life exactly 3 people I would consider friends. I tend to feel far safer around animals than humans, I'm really shy socially and feel on guard in the presence of others. Yet, I long to be able to trust enough to find and enter into a relationship, to share my life with someone.

But don't. I am alone.

On my bad days I wish I had someone other than my t to turn to. Am I the only one who feels this lonely?