For those of you who know me.... you know that I have battled depression and suicidal ideation for quite some time now.

Recently I was SO ready to give life the finger.... but (obviously) I have not..... Yesterday I was talking to my therapist and she asked me very bluntly

do you want to end your misery or do you want to die?

It was a fair question.... a good question. I had to admit that even though I do hate life - and part of me wishes for an end of this life.

Lately it has been work to stay in crisis mode. Almost as if my mind has gotten tired of this endless cycle. I know my "new" meds are working (thank you wellbutrin) - - because I occasionally find myself "dancing" in my car as I drive to work (if the song is right). That is the old normal me.... fun, goofy. Not the blah feeling that I have been stuck in for far too long.

Point is - the meds are helping me. I totally believed that I would never enjoy any part of life again. I totally believed that I wanted off of this earth. I am starting to think differently.

It is my hope that each of you find peace in your hearts.