I had a similar driving experience with my mother, who also would not pay for driver's ed for any of us. My mother did not calm me down but started screaming at me until I got confused and hit the gas instead of the brake. There was no truck coming, either. I didn't get back in the car to learn how to drive until I was in my 20s. I was taught by friends.

The thing about the phone conversation where your mother said she didn't like kids -- she probably really did mean other people's kids and not you.

It does sound like your parents may be a bit cool/emotionally closed off. Your mother seems to treat you as a friend sometimes, complaining about her job, which isn't really what we want when we are kids.