Hello, Heechee55, and welcome! I can imagine that you would feel lost. We are here to be supportive, to offer advice, and to be available for friendships. Of course, we in this forum by and large are "pros" at bipolar. I have been dealing with it for 14 years, with the standard ups and downs.

Wow, your wife really pulled one on you, didn't she? Maybe things will work out once you are back on an even keel.

I know you don't want to, but if you go to the ER with reports of suicidal thoughts and an imminent possibility, then you will get attention, but it will likely include some hospital time. If you really get into a worse state before your appointment, then remember that is always an option. Okay?