I know it's silly and that there are worse things in life, but my session has almost come and I'm worried. It seems to me like I have less time than ever.
I decided to hang in and wait the session to discuss termination and distancing the sessions because I wanted to think and then speak to T face to face. I wrote letters, I imagined talking etc. but my biggest fear is that I won't be able to say anything.

I already know she will keep weekly sessions but that's not the point, I don't want her to make me "happy", I need her to understand is that I don't want to have to run for once in my life. With everything else it is ok, I can put up with it. On my path to healing, no, that's too much.
But in real life I often happen to just take whatever comes to not to disappoint others. And my T, I've always trusted her blindly and let her take care of me and last time I had no defenses to react, I was just numb, and now that I don't agree with her I even find myself wondering if she knows better than me and I'm actually just being whiny. So I'm going to have a hard time to explain this.

I really fear wasting my session tomorrow and not fighting for myself once again even though I really want to. But I'm a coward.
So.. can I have some moral support?

Sorry for posting again about it. And thank you.