Hi lonewolf, I wouldn't say that you were complaining at all
I'd say that you expressing what you're feeling/thinking is really good. And please don't stop, if something is hurting, bothering you, effecting you it matters!!! And it's not in any way annoying
It sounds like you've been going through a really hard time, but please try not to be too tough on yourself.
It can be so easy to see the things you don't do right, so easy for them to eat you up from the inside, and for the things things you've actually done not so bad at to fall by the wayside. So maybe have a think about the "bigger picture". Even if you can only come up with a few things, they still count!! They count a whole lot!!! So a bit more credit where credit's due??!!
And sometimes if you're not doing some things right, it can help to have a real think about why, because sometimes it might have nothing at all to do with your skills e.g. maybe anxiety, maybe concentration, maybe thinking/believing you can't before you even start..........?? And you know, lots of those things can be worked on a bit.
And the social side...........I'm just wondering if you're comparing yourself too much to others who are really sociable???? I know it is really hard for you, but there's nothing to say that you have to fit into a particular box to be accepted/liked/valued by people. And not doing "normal" activities, doing the "social circle" doesn't mean you can't still enjoy your life. Everyone is different and they are going to get enjoyment/fulfillment out of different things.
And, OK you may only feel a bit more comfortable with very low key interactions/communication right now, but that's OK, nothing wrong with that. Go with what you're comfortable with and then if you can "try to push your boundaries" just a little bit at your own pace when you're ready. There will still be people who can really like you regardless, even if you are less extroverted. And hey, there's plenty of people out there who really don't go for the extroverted types. The most important thing is to be yourself. And if gradually, very gradually you can make a friend or two, or..........then great. Remember friendship doesn't have to be about being "sociable", constant conversation, all kinds of friendships. And that doesn't need to mean that any of them matter any the less to you/to
But for now, why not log into the chat part of here?? You don't necessarily have to say much at all, but it might help you in building up a little confidence if you "sit back", watch, and throw in the odd comment when you feel able.

Alison