The difficult part is to realize how bad things actually were and if told by somebody else it really hits. That was my experience too, at least.
I think that's when you start moving from denial.
Does it worry you that she is going on vacation just now, or do you fear she will distance herself because of how bad she thinks your story is? (I really don't think it's the case, just wondering how you are). It's hard though, hang in there.

Um, this is just me but I think your T was wrong in the way it was handled. T's are TRAINED to deal with dark stuff. I'm sure plenty of people (sadly) with present her with problems similar to yours in her career. She shouldn't make you feel bad about your journal.She should show empathy.