I have a tendency to think that people think I'm really annoying or that they sort of hate me or something. Today I emailed a psychologist about meeting up (I haven't had a therapist in months now). We were supposed to meet up for the first time last Monday but her child got sick so she had to cancel. So yeah, I emailed her today to ask for another appointment but now I think she probably thinks I'm the most annoying person in the world (she hasn't replied yet by the way). I also wrote a message to a person I've gotten to know recently (she hasn't replied either). It was a short message where I was just asking her how she's doing. Now I, for some reason, think she probably thinks I'm bothering her and that she doesn't want me to contact her. I even feel like that when I'm posting things here.

I feel insufficient and inferior all the time. I feel like a burden as soon as I contact people or ask questions. As soon as I contact someone I have to contact (psychologists, teachers etc) I feel like I'm the last person they want to hear from. I spend quite a bit of time worrying if I've done something wrong or if I'm too intense or something. It feels like they're all judging me.

I don't know if this is caused by my social anxiety disorder, low self-esteem, a combination of both or something else. All I know is that it's freaking annoying and scary.

Can you relate to this? Why do I think people hate me all the time?