I hope you know you are not uncaring or lack compassion if you put yourself first. Your mental health is more important. you cant take care of him if you aren't doing well yourself. most of all, it is not your job to take care of him especially if you are not being treated kindly for it. hook him up with the resources to get care so you can get respite for yourself. find the courage for self care and acknowledging that he is not your responsibility. I am not trying to be coldhearted. it is just that you have to have compassion for yourself as well and it sounds like you are using it all up on him. take care of you. remember, he can only do as well as you are.