Thanks, kaliope. I've made huge efforts to hook him up with whatever home services he might be eligible for. I even called Adult Protection Services to report him as suffering from self-neglect. I got the VA involved, as he is a client there. I got him 3 visits a week. He started to refuse showers when the attendants would show up for shower visits. So he disqualified himself from those visits.

He is not the easiest person to work with. The professionals involved in his care all say that he would be in a nursing home if he didn't have me. That's not an exaggeration. I felt glad that I could help him stay at home where he wants to be. I know I have the option of telling people that it is too much and I can't continue. I don't feel like it is to that point yet. Yet I feel so demoralized.

At times, when he is not cooperative . . . like with hygiene issues . . . I almost am ready to threaten him, but that's not right, either. He has no family nearby. One adult child is flying out to visit soon, and I don't know how to make the most of that opportunity. I just get worried about how to entertain that visitor.

He has some slight dementia, so I'm not always sure he even grasps what's going on.