I'm sorry you're struggling, Brandon. I'm glad you've made some good choices along the way that put you in a better position, but it sounds like life has been rough. Do you have a therapist that you could talk to, or could you find one? Sometimes therapists will run on a sliding scale for people without insurance. Maybe looking for a job where you don't have to actually interact a whole lot with people could be an option? Some people just prefer to work alone, there's nothing wrong with that.